I know feeling stuck is not a great feeling and I’m here to tell you there is hope

If you’re stuck – it’s likely that you’ve fallen into at least one of the following ruts:


The Not Good Enough Rut

It’s like there is a stuck record in your head. You’re not good enough.  You don’t live up to other people’s expectations of you.  You are a disappointment.  You can’t even……….. [fill in the gaps].

You’re probably trying to organise everybody else’s lives for them.  You have professional commitments to fulfil.  You have a business to build.  You have elderly parents to care for.  You have children to support.  You have a partner to consider. You have a home to maintain.  You have Christmas to organise.  You have birthdays to plan for.  You have a holiday to book.  The list is endless.

It’s likely that you believe that you are not doing any of the above very well and therefore you start to judge and criticise yourself.  You compare yourself to ‘everyone else’ and of course you fall short.  You really wish you could pull the covers over your head and just stay in bed.



It might be that someone once told you something they believed to be true about you.  You’re not a very good pupil, daughter, mother, friend, manager, partner, lover.  Maybe they didn’t actually say those words – maybe it was a subtle action or behaviour that lead you to make that assumption.

That’s all it takes.  Subtle or not so.

If this resonates with you, you’re likely stuck in the not good enough rut



The No Focus Rut

Remember when you were younger and you had all sorts of dreams.  You enthused about them.  You didn’t care what other people thought.  These were your dreams.



Then life happened.  And somehow you got knocked off course.  And before you knew it, you were in a life that you didn’t really plan for; feeling lost, uncertain and with no idea where you wanted to go.


Your busy life means you don’t have time for you.  If you were to take time for you, that would be selfish.  You just do the best you can to keep all your plates spinning and focus on getting through each day with no idea about where you want to go or what you want to do in the future.


Those dreams seem long forgotten and dusty and probably a bit unrealistic.


And yet you have a niggle.  A niggle that there is more to life than this.  A niggle that you’re capable of so much.  A niggle that life is relatively short and you feel you’re running out of time.  A niggle that you’re frustrated and dissatisfied with your life as it is now. A niggle that you know this is your life and only you can make it how you want it.


The only problem is you have no idea how or where to start.


If this resonates with you, you’re likely stuck in the no focus rut



The Emotional Turmoil Rut

Your heart hurts.  You feel on the verge of tears.  You have ‘stuff’ that you push away or push down because it’s too painful.


Emotions can play havoc with our hearts and heads if we’re not sure how to manage them.

You’ve got lots of life experience.  You’ve been told that you’re too soft.  You’ve been described as over emotional. You take the pain and hurt of others and feel it deeply yourself.

Your emotions are controlling you.

If this resonates with you, you’re likely stuck in the emotional turmoil rut



How coaching helps to get you unstuck

One of my mentors – the amazing Tony Vee – has a fabulous saying: “Only questions can save the human race”.

Speaking to you as a coach, I wholeheartedly agree.

You see, life happens.  Our experiences shape our thinking.  We have to make meaning of our experiences.  Sometimes the meaning we make is unhelpful to us.  What we come to believe about a person, a situation, the world, ourselves can limit our decisions in that area.

For example, if you’ve had an experience where someone has humiliated you or told you something they believe to be true about you, you might take that belief on as being true.

I had an experience at junior school where my teacher ripped apart a pin cushion I’d been stitching.  And as she ripped the pin cushion apart, my self-belief went with it.

At 7 years old I didn’t really understand the belief I was creating. It was only after being coached in my 50s that I discovered that this incident had had a huge impact on my confidence, self-esteem and self-belief.  Coaching helped me to change the belief I’d created and move on.

That’s just one example.  You’ve probably got your own.

The point is that we create beliefs which lead to patterns of thinking which lead to patterns of decision making which lead to patterns of behaviour that keep us stuck

There are, of course, different degrees of stuckness.  You might be only a little bit stuck and just need some clarity.  Or you might feel as though you are so far down in that rut, that you have no idea how you’re ever going to get out.



“Only questions can save the human race”

Coaching is all about listening very carefully and asking great questions.

Asking questions helps you to think differently

Asking questions helps you to challenge your beliefs

Asking questions helps you to explore the possibilities

Asking questions shines a light on what’s lurking in the dark

Asking questions empowers you

Asking questions sets you free

Asking great questions allows you to come up with some great answers.  Answers that create your transformation. Answers that open up possibilities for you to experience more of your unknown potential.

I coach my clients with a spirit of curiosity. I provide them a with a supportive space in which they can open and flourish where once they were closed and restricted.  My clients tell me they feel completely safe and supported.  My clients get those light bulb moments where something that was holding them back suddenly falls away and they experience lightness and liberation.

Would you like to experience some of that for yourself?

Questions move you from feeling not good enough to feeling a greater sense of inner strength and confidence; from no focus to having a clear view of what you want to achieve so that you can create a plan to get there; from emotional turmoil to emotional regulation so that you can still experience the emotions and use them to empower you.

“Only questions can save the human race”

You might feel a little scared.  That’s OK. I’ll hold the light so that you can find your way.  I’ll soulfully and intuitively guide and support you.  You will be safe.

If you know you’re stuck and that you want to be unstuck, let me help.

Let’s talk to see if we’re a good fit to work together.

Yours with love and light

Jane xx

Jane Gray

The Unstuck Coach

PS – if you know someone who could do with some support right now, please share so that they have the chance to reach out to get some help xx