Part of my self employed coaching journey has been getting my message clear. That’s been tough. As someone who’s intuitive, it’s been difficult to consciously think about what I do and, more importantly, why I do it.
That shell around your heart that locks in the hurt and blocks out the joy – That’s my why.
As I explored and reflected on why I do what I do, it became apparent that there was one defining moment for me. More about that in a minute.
If you’re a sensitive soul, like me, you’ll know what it’s like to feel that sharp pain of hurt in your heart. That moment when someone looks at you in particular way or says something in a particular tone. And as time moves on, that hurt just goes deeper and deeper.
In an attempt to protect yourself from more hurt you create a shell around your heart
In an attempt to protect yourself from more hurt, you create a shell around your heart. The shell is made up of messages you give yourself and beliefs you create.
Maybe you tell yourself that you have to push through those feelings, or push them down. Maybe you convince yourself that you’re too sensitive and just need to toughen up. Maybe you take on all of those comments which lead you to believe that you’re just bad. In whatever way you do it, you stifle the feelings and create a shell.
What you don’t realise when you create the shell, is that all it does is lock in the hurt
What you don’t realise when you create the shell, is that all it does is lock in the hurt. So that when you experience more hurt, your heart shakes and stirs up all of that locked in hurt, amplifying and intensifying those feelings.
What you don’t realise is that the shell blocks out the joy
What you don’t realise is that the shell blocks out the joy. Of course you have good times and are grateful for all that you are and have. There just seems to be something missing. That’s because the shell is stopping that joy reaching your heart.
For years I wondered what was wrong with me. I felt ashamed and guilty that I couldn’t sort myself out. I was anxious and really irritable with those closest to me.
And then I realised.
I made a decision to peek inside the shell around my heart
I prided myself on coping with his death. I thought I’d faced it head on.
It turned out that I was actually doing a great job but there was more to do.
Recognising that I’d not allowed myself to really experience my feelings at a deep level, I started my journey of cracking open that shell.
I chose to do this through self development. I knew I wanted to help others and so it made sense to me to take this route.
So after many years and lots of financial investment, I can safely say, I’ve done it.
That was one of the hardest things I’ve done
I started by taking a peek. That was one of the hardest things I’ve done. But wow was it worth it. That shell was a hard and dark space at my very core. So dark and hard that I’d started to worry that maybe I was really bad, really really bad. I was scared. I remember very clearly the moment I took a peek.
That was the defining moment.
I accepted the help and it was not nearly as bad as I thought
I was on the verge of having a panic attack. And then I accepted the help and it was not nearly as bad as I thought. It turned out that the shell contained sadness, and lots of it.
I was worried I’d be engulfed by all that stuff inside the shell. That didn’t happen.
I’ve learned on my journey that if we’re experiencing something, there are a whole host of people who are experiencing it, or something similar, too.
And that’s my why.
It took me lots of time and money to get to where I am in terms of my inner strength and emotional regulation.
Grow your inner strength and resilience whilst still holding on to your sensitive and soulful heart
I want to be that safe pair of hands as you take a peek inside your own shell. I want to help you to recognise what’s inside, to embrace it and then show you how to grow your inner strength and resilience whilst still holding on to your sensitive and soulful heart.
If any of this has resonated with you, please do get in touch. You’ve probably been coping with this for years. Maybe it’s time for you to let in the joy.
We can have a virtual coffee and a chat and find out if I can help you some more.
Simply click here to book yourself in at a time that suits you.